When it Rains it Pours

I am absolutely terrible at keeping up with this blog.  But since I have a few minutes I thought I would sit down and put my thoughts into words.  Since my last entry our world has been flipped upside down, right side up, and right back down again.  Izzy, Devin, and Jason have all had some kind of surgery in the past few months and I just got released from the hospital with a Bells Palsy attack.  But lets start at the beginning shall we?

Izzy was the first to have surgery a week after her fourth birthday.  We had a wonderful fairy grotto in our living room and she had a special fairy costume that she wore.  We all had a blast and the cake was amazing!!

Then a few days later she had oral surgery on her mouth.  She was absolutely fabulous and just as the doctors said she doesn't remember even a moment of it, mommy will never forget but she wont ever remember which is a very good thing.

Then a month later it was Jason's turn for surgery.  He finally found  a doctor who figured out what was wrong and how to fix it.  Turns out he had a missing bone in his spine which caused a small fracture on the bone beneath it which was crushing his nerves in his spine. So he went under the knife and got a spinal fusion, a small bone was taken off his hip to replace the missing bone, and small rods placed by the spine for support.

Then it was time for Devin's 10th birthday.  We had a Pokemon Black and White party where the kids basically were allowed to do what they wanted.  LOL.  They played WII, Xbox 360, and of course their DSIs. 

Then a few days after his birthday he was in the operating room for one of the two surgeries needed for his feet.  They placed a small plug in his foot to lift his ankle bone off his heel bone, to realign his foot so he walks properly.  Hopefully this saves him from any further complications like back pain, hammer toes, etc.

They are all doing very well since their surgeries and life went back to semi normal for the Carters. School, work, etc, and of course still waiting on the military to decide what to do with us.  Jason has a meeting this week that maybe will give us a better idea what the next year will bring. 

Then BAM!!  Mommy has a string of migraines, ending in a lovely trip to the ER and being admitted into the hospital with a Bells Palsy attack.  Noone knows why it happened so have no clear idea how to fix it of course.  Since then I have come to realize how amazing my husband is.  My face is still partially paralyzed one eye remaining open at all times, and one side of my mouth not moving.  Despite all of that he still kisses me all the time and wants that special attention only a wife can give her husband.  So even when I feel like I belong in the circus, I feel appreciated and loved by my wonderful husband.  So I took my day of rest, I took my day of pity now the laundry mountain is being tackled, Father's Day gifts in the process of being made.  Completely humbling and life affirming to have those simple tasks to do.

So again the wheels of the Carter train are back on track, a little wobbly at times, but still full of steam headed towards whatever lays through the mountains. 

Been awhile

It has been a little while since I have been on here.  This time of year is a busy busy time but I wanted to take a few minutes and update what has been going on. 

We have an added member of our family.  Little Chloe Ann Bradshaw was born on December 14 at 1:10 pm.  She weighed in as a whopping 7 lbs.  2 oz. and 19 3/4 in. long.  Mommy and baby are home and doing well.

Jason is still working on the MEB, called someone this week who is supposed to be coordinating all of the things that need to be done and she informed him that she has not been notified that there was an MEB opened on Jason yet.  So yay!!!  Jason has to figure out what is going on so the 6-9 months has been postponed.  Fantastic.  He goes in on the 28th of this month to get a second opinion on his back from a Neurosurgeon from Philadelphia Hospital.  Depending on what that doctor says we could be looking at a back surgery for him and at least 6 weeks of convalescent leave.  Yay!!  For him anyway.  So just waiting to find out about all that.

In other news we took Izzy and Devin to a new dentist in town and I absolutely love them!!  They have a monkey and made Isabelle feel comfortable which says a lot for them.  She has a hard time with new people and the fact that they both came out smiling was a great relief for me.  The bad news is is that Isabelle needs 6 baby root canals with 6 caps.  The dentist said that it is a genetic thing, her saliva processes sugar differently from other kids, leaving the sugar on her teeth longer.  Got that from me unfortunately.  LOL. (Her temper is still her daddy's though.) So we have to wait for both the medical and dental insurance to approve the process and then it will be an inpatient surgery at the hospital unfortunately.  I will be glad to get both these processes over with and behind us. 

Despite all that we are enjoying our holiday season and the kids are counting down the days until Santa comes to town.  We have ridden the train with Santa, visited Santa while grocery shopping where Izzy got a brand new Tangled bike from an older gentleman and both kids got a brand new toy, and we just saw Santa today at the Airman's Attic where the kids again got a new toy.  The kids are enjoying celebrating the season with new and old traditions from watching Rudoloph the Red Nosed Reindeer and drinking hot cocoa to decorating the tree all on their own. 

Merry Christmas to you all and

Happy New Year!!!

Blood Family vs. True Family

 I can't help but think about an incidence that happened not too long ago with my brother.  I was having a rough week, finding out about Jason being med boarded, my migraines, and well a bunch of things that I won't bore you about now.  My cousin put up on her status some political remark that was anti-obama, and anyone who knows me knows that I am completely and utterly Anti-Obama myself so I agreed with her remark.  My brother is a staunch hippy democrat and attacked us both.  The next day I commented on my facebook that people should be able to voice their opinions, political, religious, whatever they may be without the fear of ridicule from their friends and family.  He again automatically went into attack mode.  Now remember this was at the end of a very very long week for me.  My neighbor across the street decided to bring her mother to my home and attack me about the behavior of our 6 month old puppy.  (He had a tendency of sneaking out the door when they kids were going in and out) Since I didn't want to deal with her and felt like I was being attacked, I did what any level headed adult would do, I turned around, walked inside and slammed the door in their faces, then came in, called my friend and promptly burst into tears.  Now during this my brother is putting mean comments on my facebook, so my friend decides she can at least help with that one....and starts an argument with him.  I tell him to just leave it alone and he takes it as I am standing up for my friend and deletes me off his friends list.  Now should that have affected me?  No.  But as a military spouse, who hasn't seen her family in nearly four years, an attack of that magnitude from the only sibling that actually acknowledges her, it broke my heart.  So again as any self respecting adult would do, I told my mommy on him.  Now here is where I started noticing the difference between my "blood family" and my "true family".  My mom tells me that I should have told my friend to shove it and not my brother.  That we are family and at the end of the day thats all we have.  Is it?  As I look back on the worst moments of my life and I look at the people who held my hand when I cried the most tears, the people who have dropped what they were doing to help me and who I have dropped everything to be there for.  I begin to wonder.

When I was growing up I had a family that was split from a divorce.  I had my mom and my brother who lived in Missouri and I lived with my father, stepmother, stepsister, and half sister in Kansas.  I never felt like I had a real place, that I had to walk a very thin line to be accepted, to be loved.  I didn't feel comfortable in my house, the only place I felt safe was at school amongst my friends, that was the only place I ever felt like I could be myself or at least a clearer version of myself.  When I was able to make the decision between Missouri and Kansas I started to come into my own.  People could love me as I was or not but I was finally figuring out who I was.  Since then the people who couldn't accept the real me have gone to the wayside and though that has hurt, its the way life has to be. But that leaves the question to at the end of the day is my blood family all I have?

The answer is absolutely not.  Cause frankly I don't have much of a blood family to speak of.  I don't speak to my stepmom or stepsister.  I barely speak to my father or half sister.  I text my mom and talk to my grandma once a week, but I have never met the woman my brother has been engaged to for four years.  I don't know what he likes besides democrats, and he doesn't know a lick about me except I am married, hopefully he knows I have two kids, and I live in Jersey.  All of that he can get from my facebook profile. 

On the other hand...my true family knows absolutely everything about me, they know what makes me happy, what makes me cry, and what makes me want to kill someone.  They know what foods my son can and can't eat and why.  They have seen me at my worst, they have held my hair when I drank too much, and made fun of me the next day.  They have been right next to me and celebrated with me during the best times.  I know that no matter what I do or say to them, they will love me and accept me.  They are the ones you can be seperated from for days, weeks, months, or even as some years but when you are together again all that doesn't matter.  You pick up the threads just like you were never apart to begin with.  They are more than the friends that you make a long the way, they are the ones that change your life, who make you think about things in a whole new light, they are the ones that when you are backed against the wall are right there with you ready to throw the punches, who will give you a hand when you need it no matter what they may be doing at the time, and whether or not they agree with your decisions will support you.  I honestly can't say that about most of my blood relatives. 

I am not sure if this is strictly a military spouse thing, or just a product of the enviornment I grew up in.  All of this is why we decided to move to Alabama instead of back to our "family".  I want my kids to grow up surrounded by the warmth and acceptance of family, and for us that means the family we have created not the one we were born into.  So for that love and acceptance I thank my True Family of friends for always being there, for who I can build a greater future for my kids with, for those who will kick my blood families a$$!!  

Musings of what is ahead....

I know I just posted a few minutes ago but I wanted to put some of my thoughts down and since this is the reason I started the blog to begin with I thought, "Why not?" 

We have chosen to move to Alabama, somewhere near Prattville which is about twenty minutes outside Montgomery.  It is close enough to the city so we will have the conveniences that affords but its a small town with low crime and a great school district so a place we can finally lay down some roots for our children and give them the advantages that every parent dreams of for their kids.


But the big questions are what, where and when?  We know the general location, we know a general time, 5-8months, heck we even have a general what....Jason wants to get a double major in Computer Science and Business from Auburn University.  But...and this is where I start getting a little panicky....where in Prattville will we live?  Our credit is not the best, so will we have any trouble finding a house to rent until we can purchase one? I will need to work at least a part time job to help with the finances but what am I going to do?  and the biggest is the when.  I don't like the oh in 5-8 months answer.  I want to know if the kids will have to be moved mid semester, I will have to get them enrolled into the new school as quickly as possible but to do that don't you need an address in that school district?  Is Devin going to miss out on the standardized testing and will that affect his schooling?  Will he be at the same level with the other kids his age? Do they have the advanced math club or its equivalant where we are chosing to go?  How much is Jason's retirement/seperation pay be?  Are they going to seperate him or retire him?  If they only seperate him what happens with the medical insurance?  And the list goes on and on.

Starting a new life journey with an established family brings up soo much more than if it was just me and Jason.  And the mother in me is absolutely terrified of the unknown aspects of this lifechanging event, but the woman in me, the one who still remembers how it was jump off a cliff screaming at the top of her lungs and the feeling of absolute freedom that action brought, can't wait to take the plunge.  The two are warring in my head right now, one says, "Stop worrying there isn't anything you can do about it anyway." while the other one says, "But how will we eat? We need a roof over our heads, what if the kids get sick....." 

Stay tuned to see which one actually makes it through this.

With Jason's MEB being opened finally and us having only a few months left my level of stress has rocketed.  In an effort to control  my anxiety and to keep myself occupied I have decided to start this blog to chronicle our journey down this path.  Its new and its scary but as a family we will all survive.  I know there are other families who have been through this process and more who are about to so maybe together we can figure out this new and crazy life.